February in four parts
My month in travel, books, mental health, and queer joy
For such a short month, February was surprisingly full of ups and downs for me.
We had some very high highs and very low lows, with annoyingly little room in between for much medium-level joy or heartache.
Maybe it’s the feeling that the world could fall apart at any second.
Maybe it’s the frigid temperatures and still-bare trees that have me itching for springtime and sunnier skies.
In any case, here’s how this month went on my end.
February in travel
I already wrote about my weekend in London for the Attitude 101 luncheon recognizing queer trailblazers across industries—and truly, I could not have been more grateful for that incredible opportunity!
Two weeks after that trip, I packed my bags for a few days in Madrid with a friend of mine from back in the States. I’ve been to Madrid before, of course, but it was so cool this time around to see the city from a new perspective after including it as a featured destination in my book. The recommendations from that chapter’s local LGBTQ+ “tour guides,” Auston and David of Two Bad Tourists, were primarily concentrated in Chueca, i.e. the best-known queer-centric neighborhood in Madrid.
I was particularly appreciative of Auston and David’s insider tips on which food and drink specialties to look for on menus as we wandered from one tapas bar to the next. What a unique way for me to learn that I actually love gilda and a bocadillo de calamares after a few drinks at a vermutería!
Looking ahead to March, I have trips planned to Berlin and Edinburgh so far—the former for the ITB international tourism conference where I’ll participate in an on-stage Q&A about queer travel, and the latter for my first book launch event with Lighthouse Bookshop owner Mairi Oliver, another LGBTQ+ local whose recommendations were featured in a destination profile in the book. So much to be excited about! (And to start thinking about what I’ll pack for!)
February in books
I was lucky enough to receive an advanced reader copy of Palm Meridian by Grace Flahive, which will be published this June—and oh my god, what an incredible read!
I’ll admit that I’m not always the biggest fan of novels that take place in the ~near future~ because they can feel depressingly bleak, so I was nervous to know that this story would take place in 2067, but the rest of the book’s premise (“A long-lost love. An end-of-life party. One last chance to change everything...”) piqued my interest too much to let a little dystopian setting stop me from diving in. And I’m so glad, because from the second I started this out-of-the-ordinary story, I was absolutely and entirely locked in until I turned its final page. I almost wish I could erase it from my memory, just so I could go back and read it for the first time again and again.
What a gift it was to follow protagonist Hannah’s last day on Earth and seventy-plus years her life’s journey from not just her point of view, but from the perspectives of so many of the other lovable characters who nearly jumped off the page, they were so vibrant—from her parents to her childhood best friend-turned-business partner to her first love to her fellow residents at the utopian retirement resort she called home for her final decade. I couldn’t stop myself from reading passage after passage aloud to my partner as I reveled in all the female friendship and queer joy sprinkled through these pages like confetti.
Author Grace Flahive skillfully managed what often feels impossible in novels about end-of-life endeavors: She struck just the right balance between hilarity and heartbreak, levity and longing, and pleasure and pain to make this bittersweet read feel real. By the time I finished it, I felt like I’d said goodbye to a close friend I knew and loved IRL, and that’s no easy feat.
If you’re looking for a beautifully written, exquisitely emotional, and unflinchingly honest novel that will break and warm your heart in equal measure, then Palm Meridian needs to be on your TBR. Keep an eye out for it to hit shelves at bookstores near you this June.
And while I’m here, here’s everything else I read this month:
If you don’t already, consider using the Storygraph app to track what you read—it has helped me learn so much about my reading habits (and it’s not owned by Amazon, like Goodreads is).
And if you do already use the Storygraph app: Yay, let’s be reading friends!
February in mental health
Highs: Spending a 13th consecutive Valentine’s Day loving and being loved by my sweet, supportive partner. Celebrating my niece’s first birthday and our pup’s fourth birthday. Getting the chance to spend a few days of quality time in Spain with a friend I haven’t had the chance to see in more than two years. Attending the Attitude 101 event and being lucky enough to meet so many wonderful people there. Seeing the first wave of happy posts and positive reviews from people receiving advanced copies of my book. Watching Pangina Heals promoting my book at Mardi Gras celebrations in Sydney, Australia as we exchanged voice memos about how excited we both are for the world to read it.
Lows: A cold, gray, and rainy month in the Netherlands. A hectic Q1 at my day job, where lots of things are changing very quickly. A jam-packed promo schedule ahead of my book’s official publication date in just a few weeks. Having honest but tough conversations with loved ones. Overwhelming travel experiences and barely-contained autistic meltdowns during my return trips from both London and Madrid. Not to mention, I mean… Kind of everything that’s happening in the U.S. right now? It’s been horrifying to watch, and as much as I try to follow my own advice when it comes to avoiding burnout in response to it all, it’s a challenge trying to balance staying informed with protecting my mental health.
What’s been helping: Blocking off an hour each week in my calendar for screen-free arts and crafts time and honoring that commitment like I would a meeting with anyone else. Sharing information that feels important to me and spreading awareness about actionable ways to take action against what’s happening in the world right now. Making time to turn my brain off and watch reality TV with friends (IRL and virtually), exchanging silly theories about who will go home next and why in real time. And as always, talking things through with my partner when things feel like too much or when I start to spiral, knowing that I’m always safe and loved even when it feels like the sky is falling.
February in queer joy
We already know that there are so many terrifying things happening to tear down LGBTQ+ rights, so let’s focus on good news for the queer community from this month for a second instead:
A "Magic: The Gathering" YouTuber raised more than half a million dollars for Trans Lifeline!
Pedro Pascal stood up for trans rights on Instagram, pissing off MAGA idiots everywhere!
And last but not least, my very queer book’s publication date is getting so! so! close! and I can’t wait for everyone who has preordered it to finally hold a physical copy of it in their hands!
How was your February?
Did you read anything you loved? Travel somewhere amazing? Take care of your mental health in a new-to-you way? Find ways to spread queer joy in your community? I’d love to hear how this month went for you!