Remember that time I was in Attitude Magazine?

Um, that was fucking cool!

Last Friday, I woke up in delightfully well-rested in a luxuriously comfortable bed at the Rosewood London, blissfully unaware of the surprises that awaited me later that same day.

I rolled over and grasped blindly for my phone in a sea of blankets, where it buzzed with a notification about an email from my media contacts at Stream Publishing and Attitude Magazine. The message said they were reaching out to share a social-friendly asset for each honoree of this year’s Attitude 101 (an annual list spotlighting LGBTQ+ trailblazers from across a variety of industries), upon which I knew I was to be featured. But what I didn’t know—yet—was precisely who I was being honored alongside.

I began to lazily scroll through the list in search of my name, then abruptly bolted upright and frightened my partner awake with a not-so-quiet, “Wait, holy SHIT!”

I had traveled to London specifically for the Attitude 101 luncheon later that afternoon, and I had assumed that I might be honored alongside other authors like myself, some activists in the queer community, and maybe a local celebrity or two... Until I got the email with those social-friendly assets, that is.

I rubbed my eyes to make sure I was seeing things correctly, because what do you mean my name graced the same list as Cynthia Erivo? As Joe Locke? As Nava Mau, Olly Alexander, James Longman, and Sarah McBride? As any of the rest of the 94 phenomenal people on this list, really?

How had I missed what a massive fucking deal this was?!

I couldn’t decide if I was glad I hadn’t known ahead of time so I had less time to stress myself out about how out of place my anxious AuDHD ass was about to feel at this now-obviously-much-fancier-than-I’d-previously-assumed event, or if I was upset that I hadn’t figured all of this out sooner so I could… I don’t know, hire a stylist and etiquette coach or something to help me feel a bit more polished and a bit less out of place?

But whatever emotional reaction I was experiencing along that spectrum, it was going to have to wait, because I needed to start getting ready for the midday reception immediately.

I put on a playlist and began getting ready, prepping and primping until I was satisfied with my (intentionally sensory-friendly) outfit, mentally practicing some talking points I could whip out at the event if I needed to. My partner walked me down to the lobby, gave me a quick pep talk and a kiss, and sent me off to whatever fate awaited.

Thankfully, any stress I carried into the event was washed away after I found my seat at the Travel industry honorees’ table. Every person I was seated next to was friendly, welcoming, and kind from start to finish, and we spent a serene afternoon together basking in the glow of our queer joy.

I can’t begin to express how grateful I was to attend this event. I was lucky enough to introduce myself to some of the most talented, accomplished, and altogether beautiful people I’d ever had the good fortune of meeting.

By the time my partner returned to the hotel to pick me up from the event at our agreed-upon hour of 5 p.m. sharp, I was on cloud nine.

Then came the next surprise!

When the Attitude Magazine team originally reached out to let me know I was being honored on this year’s Attitude 101 list, they mentioned that they’d like to recognize me as the lead of the Travel category and asked if I’d be open to writing a piece for them about my experiences as a neurodivergent travel writer. I happily obliged, but after I submitted the draft to them, I hadn’t given it a second thought. I figured it would be published on the Attitude website and I’d share it once it went live, and that would be that.

So, imagine my shock when I opened the physical copy of the Attitude Magazine issue celebrating the Attitude 101 and found a full double-page spread featuring that very article along with a massive print of the author photo I’d had taken for my debut book a few months prior.

As queens on Drag Race (like Global All Star Kitty Scott-Claus—who, as side note, I literally got to meet at the Attitude 101 luncheon that day) would say, I was gagged! Gooped, even! How was this real life!!!

You can indeed read the full article on the Attitude website, but if you’re in the UK or the EU, I hope you’ll look for this month’s issue at newsstands near you so you can see it in print.

So, what did we learn here?

Um. Well. First of all, that I should probably request more context when being recognized for things in the future so I can more appropriately calibrate my excitement (and preparations) in response to them.

Beyond that…

That even when I’m nervous or worried I’ll feel out of place when I’m at an event pertaining to the work I do, I can tell the whispers of imposter syndrome inside my head to shut the hell up, because I deserve to take a seat at the tables where I’m offered one.

That I probably don’t need to be quite so terrified ahead of events like this, because surrounding myself with queer community is nearly always an uplifting experience for me.

And that despite what the haters may try to say, PRINT IS ALIVE AND WELL, baby!

Thank you again to Attitude Magazine, Stream Publishing, Bentley Motors, M&S, and the Rosewood London for such a fantastic experience, and here’s to even more oppportunities to celebrate queer excellence in the future.